These characters end up at the Vatican while the Pope is on vacation in Vietnam. In a haphazard way, they are drawn into a mysterious and bizarre science fiction drama. Virgil is posing as an American varsity scholar at Vassar who is visiting his Aunt Veronica in a nearby villa in Venice for the Vernal Equinox. In actuality, he is a visitor from the planet Vitkaan, in close proximity to Venus. These people are a highly evolved species, artistic and virile, vast in their knowledge and expression of feelings, lack of fear. No war. No violence. They, too, have a contagious virus, but unlike Aids, which houses the HIV, theirs is a positive, life sustaining virus called Verve, with the medical moniker LOV+. It must be administered to vestal virgins by loss of virginity and only a Vitkaan has the power to release the LOV+ into the bloodstream.
It just so happens, in the Vatican, the vicar is a present-day vampire (yes, right out of an Anne Rice novel) who feasts upon the blood of Virgins.
Meanwhile, Vaughn Vinaigrette and her escort, Vladimir Vilkowski have arrived from a long day at the Venice Film Festival where they met young Virgil (posing as the Vassar student). They offer him a ride to the Vatican. Vladimir is secretly a member of the K.V.B. (an off-shoot of the KGB). He’s on a secret assignment to arrest any foreign non-human intruders, but is posing as a ventriloquist. Vaughn Vinaigrette is a washed up Russian soap opera star who thinks she is Vetrushka, the 1960s fashion model. She suffers from vertigo and breaks into Wagner arias upon being revived.
Virgil has disappeared to view the Vatican, but really to find the virgin. We hear a Volvo crash, a scream, and in rush Vicky Van-Gogo and Vern Verlaine. They are both visibly shaken, and while Vaughn and Vladimir have run to the windows to look through the venetian blinds, Virgil sneaks the body of Virginia Vasquez, the virgin from Venezuela, into a corner divan, and departs. Vicky, Vern, Vladimir and Vaughn introduce themselves, get acquainted. But where did Virgil go? And who is the body lying on the divan? And where is the Vicar, who is supposedly the host in the absence of the pope?