Reverence

Indian/God/ Homeless apparition

sidles up beside me

in Fern Dell Park

with his one-blue-eye-one-brown-eyed

dog

says, pointing

“That river over there

once told many stories…”

We stand, stare

the reverent silence

hovering between us

until interrupted

by the stirring

Allright Parking bum lying

under an oak behind us-

pauses from tinkering

with loose dentures,

mumbles “what a crock of shit.”

6 thoughts on “Reverence

  1. Ubuntu

    Line 1 is weakened by multi-naming of male pronoun reference (x3: “Indian,” “God,” “Homeless Apparition”) Choose one instead in order to strengthen this narrative encounter.

    Reply
    1. rgv7735

      Thanks, I might change the first line, and might not…please recall that when giving feedback it is also nice to balance “suggestions” with “what I like or what seems to be working” in each piece.

      Reply

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